Saturday, October 5, 2019
International finance Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words - 1
International finance - Assignment Example This could lead to reduced investments of the government or organizations involved in the debt, thus leading to adoption of compensatory mechanisms such as increased taxation by governments and increased product prices by organizations in order to cater for the cost. On the other hand, devaluation is likely to discourage investors from foreign countries, as governments that devalue their currency are perceived as weak. This would lead to decreased revenue and thus high rates of inflation. An increase in national income in Japan as compared to the US, with floating rates of exchange would lead to the depreciation of the rate of current exchange for Japan, and thus appreciation of the US dollar. An increase in the prices in both Japan and the US would ensure that the two countries maintain their purchasing power parity. As such, the US dollar would remain the same relative to the Japanese yen. High real interest rates in Japan would lead to appreciation in the value of their currency and subsequent depreciation in the value of the US dollar. As such, global investors would wish to hold financials in the Japanese yen. For them to buy Japanese stocks or bonds, the Japanese yen must be bought, causing it to appreciate. The fixed exchange rate system guards countries from exchange rate uncertainties by allowing countries that experience deficits in the payment balance to use their dollar reserves to finance such deficits (Arnold 891). With the decline in the number of dollars, the supply of money in the country is reduced. The interest rates thus increase in response to the reduced prices. The reduction in price results in the goods of the nation becoming more competitive at the international level, increasing capital flow into the nation. As such, the fixed exchange rate system allows different nations to establish equilibrium through balancing payments. The fixed exchange rate systems place the exchange risk
Friday, October 4, 2019
Comparative politics and Governance Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words
Comparative politics and Governance - Essay Example France is taken to be the birthplace of liberal democracy in the modern era, sharing leadership culturally in the development of democratic society internationally with Britain and the USA. The ideals of democracy can be found in literature and transported to any location, but their implementation as a system of government is most strong in the USA and France today. Britain still has the House of Lords and Monarchy which illustrate the feudal patterns of society which liberal democracy replaced, and Spain also has a Constitutional Monarchy and King. The patterns of democratic liberalism found in the USA and France are used as a basis for development of similar systems in nation-states around the world in the process of modernization that relates to democratization internationally. Jurgen Habermas (1994) discusses the process of democratization as it aligns with modernization in his work, ââ¬Å"Three Normative Models of Democracy,â⬠relating the different stages a nation may ent er into as the people emerge from feudal power relations. (Habermas, 1994) Following this theory, liberal democratic structures will increase in a society as the culture develops economically and through education, adopting scientific standards, and becoming globalized. This theory would suggest that the worldââ¬â¢s most advanced economies, such as the U.S., France, and Spain, would be also the most free historically, or have the highest advocacy for democratic institutions. Yet, China has the second largest economy globally, and it is often found to be lacking in liberal democratic openness on these standards. Similarly, Russia replaced the Soviet regime with a technically democratic system, and still has a strong economy today, yet international watchdogs regularly report human rights abuses and undemocratic processes in the country. This leads to the conclusion that there is not a direct relation between the size or advancement of an economy and liberal democracy as a politica l system inherently, as seen particularly in Russia and China today, but also in historical examples from around the world. Nevertheless, the relationship between modernization and democratization does proceed together in many nations historically, as Barber and other show in their studies on political sociology. (Barber, 2003) 2: The separation of executive and legislature is a fundamental requirement of democratic governmentââ¬â¢. Discuss. The separation of the legislature and executive is not the fundamental characteristic of democratic government, because the Parliamentary system of government links the Prime Minister directly to the ruling party and its control of the majority of legislators. What is more important than the relationship of separation of powers and indicative of a liberal democracy historically is the use of a constitution in the establishment of the system of government itself. Habermas, in such works as ââ¬Å"On the Internal Relation between the Rule of La w and Democracyâ⬠(1995), describes the existence of a constitution as a foundation document in a system of government as characteristic and a predictor of democratic liberalism. (Habermas, 1995) Yet, France, Spain, US, Russia and Nigeria all have constitutions and make claims to political liberalism, but in practice display
Thursday, October 3, 2019
Inclusive Classrooms Essay Example for Free
Inclusive Classrooms Essay The Success of Inclusive Classrooms Introduction Inclusive classroom is the cause of debates between families with children who have learning disabilities and those that do not have children with learning disabilities (Brehm, 2003). Inclusion can be understood as Brehm states it, Providing to all students, including those with significant disabilities, equitable opportunities to receive effective education; services, with the needed supplementary aids and support services, in age-appropriate classrooms in their neighborhood schools, in order to prepare students for productive lives as full members of society. (2003, p. 89) With the collaboration of the school and home, inclusive classrooms can be successful. Students who have learning disabilities and those who do not have learning disabilities will have the opportunity to develop in a personal fashion, social relationships, and helps students with learning disabilities become ââ¬Å"productiveâ⬠¦ as full members of societyâ⬠(Brehm, 2003, p. 89). Inclusive classrooms are consistent with the law that all students should be educated in the least restrictive environment (Banerji Dailey, 1995). Results Some are opposed inclusion because they believe it will be costly for the school. One school wanted to test inclusive classrooms in their own school and to see the effects. They froze their budget so the public cannot attribute their success to an increase in expenses (Van Dyke, Stallings, Colley, 1995). Their per-pupil expenditures for students with learningà disabilities were slightly lower than neighboring schools. Since all students were included in the general education the budget was reformed (not increased) to support that. For example, the school did not have to provide separate transportation for students with special needs nor did the district have to pay private tuition for the students they could not accommodate. The school had ââ¬Å"educational suppliesâ⬠as opposed to separate supplies for the regular education classes and the special education classes (Van Dyke, et al. 1995). Another criticism is that the training needed for teachers, the workshops for school staff, and the collaboration that is needed to make inclusion successful will take a lot of extra time (Van Dyke, et al. 1995). That is true. However, the training and education teachers receive is valuable and improves their teaching to typical students and special students. The benefits that are gained by all students is worth the time (Benerji Dailey, 1995). Lastly, after a few trainings teachers learn how to run an inclusive classroom so less time is needed for workshops. If we implement the proper education for inclusion in college, teachers will begin teaching with greater skills and knowledge of how to run an inclusive classroom. Another concern is that students with learning disabilities do not necessarily do better academically in an inclusive setting compared to the special education classes. Through research it has been found that after one year of inclusive classrooms in three different districts, 54% of the students with learning disabilities learned what they were exp ected to (Zigmund, Jenkins, Fuchs, Fafard, 1995). That number was only given after one year of inclusion classroom. The success stories will keep growing if inclusion is done with the right focus and method. Classrooms are an introduction to the community that we live in. Children with disabilities need to be in regular classrooms to help them prepare for the challenges that will arise in the ââ¬Å"real world,â⬠(Van Dyke, et al. 1995). Segregating students puts a label on them that they are different and are therefore treated differently. But, really they are apart our community so they should be part of our schools (Van Dyke, et al. 1995). As, Van Dyke, Stallings, and Colley state, ââ¬Å"To be truly prepared to take part in the real world as adults, children with disabilities need to be educated in language rich classrooms and to interact daily with peers who are appropriate role modelsâ⬠(p. 475, 1995). There are tremendous social gains for students in inclusiveà e nvironments. Included students have higher peer ratings and are more accepted compared to students in the resource program (Brehm, 2003). According to the research that was done by Benjeri and Dailey (2003), students with learning disabilities improved in their self-esteem and motivation. Students also changed in their social behavior, which helped them make friends and be part of a group of friends (Benjeri Dailey, 2003). In addition, students learned to care for one another, to learn and work together. One teacher reported that while all the students were at free play, the teachers were standing around and watching them. One teacher jokingly said that the teachers were not needed anymore because the students have learned to interact and problem solve with one another without the intervention of a teacher (Benjeri Dailey, 1995). The students without disabilities also gain from inclusive classrooms. Firstly, students learned to accept all types of people no matter what they look like and value the differences of their classmates. They learned that everyone has something valuable to share. Students were less afraid of their classmates that looked or behaved differently. The students learning effected the parents too. In an ethnographic yearlong study it was found tha t students became more tolerant with others as a result of their awareness of their peers with disabilities (Staub Peck, 1994). Additionally, the study has shown that students developed positive feeling of themselves after they helped or spent time with a peer who was disabled. Their self-esteem was increased as a result of their interactions with their peers. They felt that their ââ¬Å"helping roleâ⬠with a disabled peer elevated their status in the classroom and gave them a stronger sense of belonging. The relationships between students with all different types of abilities were strong, meaningful, and long-lasting friendships (Staub Peck, 1994). We can facilitate successful inclusion in our classrooms with the right intervention, approaches, and supports. Most importantly, there must be collaboration between the school psychologist or social worker, the special education teacher, the general education teacher, the principal, and the home. Everyone has to be informed and i n agreement. When there is unity between all the parties involved in a childââ¬â¢s education, the child has a sense of security and can be educated in the best possible way (Van Dyke, et al., 1995). Support systems must be put in place for the teachers to turn to for advice and to help with instruction in theà classroom. The teachers should meet with a special education teacher and teacher consultant to discuss strategies for their classroom. Every classroom should have a general education teacher and a special education teacher who will be in the classroom for a part of the day and a co-teacher. Trainings and workshops should be given to educate teachers about effective inclusion and instruction (Van Dyke, et al., 1995). One up-and-coming new style of teaching is known as the Universal Design for Learning (UDL). This style of teaching meets the needs of all learners. UDL encourages teachers to create a flexible curriculum that is customized for each student. It allows students to progress from where they are and not where one imagines them to be. For an inclusive classroom, UDL is especially important because there are different learners and each child needs to learn at his o wn pace (www.udlcenter.org). The curriculum should include visual, auditory, and kinesthetic learning styles. Assistive technology such as alternative keyboards, electronic pointing devices, Sip-and-puff systems, wands and sticks, joysticks, trackballs, touch screens, should be available for any student. Assistive technology makes the classroom a friendlier place for a student who needs it. UDL offers different ways for students to express themselves and what they have learned. Students learn how to self-regulate their emotions and motivations. They donââ¬â¢t just learn information rather, they learn skills in how to learn and process information. They also expand their executive functioning which helps them set goals for themselves, monitor their progress, and control impulsions (www.udlcenter.org). Discussion Based on the research that was read, inclusion is an ideal way of teaching our children about the world and social relationships. The classroom is a model of a childââ¬â¢s community. Every child belongs to a community and so does every child deserve the chance to receive the best education in the least restrictive environment (Van Dyke, et al., 1995). Inclusive classrooms teach the skills and life lessons to all the students of all types of abilities. Students develop healthier self-esteems, learn how to interact with each other and problem solve together. Students become more accepting of others differences and learn to look out for each individuals unique traits. Inclusion removes the labels that make others different and not good enough.à It lets the classroom be a growing place for all no matter the disabilities (Van Dyke, et al., 1995). The key to Inclusion is communication. The school and the home must be involved in aspects of the childââ¬â¢s education . Teachers need to be trained and taught how to be effective in an inclusive classroom (Van Dyke, et al., 1995). Additionally, UDL will help the curriculum be shaped to help each child succeed in their own way (www.udlcener.org). The limitations of this paper is that it does not state what types of disabilities should be included in the classroom and at what level of functioning a student must be to be included. The paper does not discuss whether a pull out program may be needed or not and to what extent it can be used. References: Benerji, M., Dailey, R. A. (1995). A Study of the Effects of an Inclusive Model on Students with Specific Learning Disabilities. Journal of Learning Disabilities, 28(8), p511-522. doi: 10.1177/002221949502800806 Brehm, K. (2003). Lessons to Be Learned and the End of the Day. School Psychology Quarterly, 18(1), p.88-95. doi:10.1521/scpq.18.1.88.20875 http://www.udlcenter.org/ Staub, D., Peck, C. A. (1994). What Are the Outcomes for Nondisabled Students? Educaional Leadership, 6, p36-40. Retrieved from http://rdas-proxy.mercy.edu:3176/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=4bf1b7b5-27eb-4c47-9b29-43509138eaff%40sessionmgr110vid=4hid=125 Van Dyke, R., Stallings, M. A., Colley, K. (1995). How to Build an Inclusive Community: A Success Story. Phi Delta Kappan, 76, p475-479. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/218474563?accountid=12387 Zigmond, N., Jenkins, J., Fuchs, L. S., Fafard, M. (1995). Special Education in Restructured Schools: Findings from Three Multi-Year Studies. Phi Delta Kappan, 76(7), p531-540. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/218510466?accountid=12387
Renaissance Love Poem Versus Current Love Song English Literature Essay
Renaissance Love Poem Versus Current Love Song English Literature Essay In the current essay we will compare the Renaissance poem by Christopher Marlowe The Passionate Shepherd to His Love and current popular song Love The Way You Lie, performed by Rihanna and Eminem. It is obvious there will be crucial differences in the approach to express feelings and to say I love you in a very different manner. In the poem by Christopher Marlowe The Passionate Shepherd to His Love we can see the described nature by the author, a lot of romance and very timidly asks a woman to be his Love. And in the current popular song Love The Way You Lie, performed by Rihanna and Eminem, we can see the other century in the words and in the sense. It can be seen that there are other values; other ways to express feelings, there is less romance and more creativity in the song. The song describes the pain people get, as the love hurts and this point is the main and it is described in detail in the current song. The description of the feelings and love today differs so much from the last years and centuries, as we seem to have other things that are in the way of the relationships. Each century has its problems, its technologies and its peculiarities. That is why we are able to see such contrast between two people who are in love and who try to be convincing using their words. While the song give us a lot of information about the relationships, its problems, the poem reminds a tide of feelings and descriptions of what the author was seeing at the moment when he was writing the poem. Beautifully described nature in the poem makes everyone who read it to imagine everything the author is describing, as it seems calm and beautiful, magical and eternal. It can be certainly noted, that in the times of Renaissance, love was perceived as nature- beautiful, independent, perfect. Today, in our materialistic society, it cannot be perceived this way anymore. Today people have other values, invented by them, as they forget about the real important things to appreciate, as we have so many other things to pay attention that sometimes we forget about feelings and their importance. It can be seen in the song, as there is describe the situation of how people got along with each other, and a man describes his love in short words, he does not say anything romantic. Probable today men are not so romantic as they were at the times of a Renaissance, as today the society has other values that can overshadow the important things. As well, maybe women have accepted the fact that they will not hear romantic words and sincere words of feelings from a man, because today different gifts and presents, unfortunately, substitute them. As we live in the materia listic society, then we are forced to play by its rules. One more cause of such change in the perception of love in centuries may be the technological progress, as in the period of Renaissance people could communicate with the help of letters, and now it is possible to make phone calls, to write messages on the cell phone, e-mails, communicate via social media and chat. At the times of Renaissance people missed each other more and consequently valued more, and now when there are many things available to use and many ways to communicate, people start looking for something more interesting, always searching for the better. Often people take many things for granted, and suffer only when they lose them. And this song is about these things, about the lost love, a man is begging his love to come back to him. Probably, if someone presented a poem in a Renaissance style to his loved one, this person would think it is a joke, or would be confused, as today there are other rules for this kind of things. Nowadays, comparison of love with nature does not happen, and that is why people are usually surprised when they see something like that. Rivers, birds and the countryside are not so romantic today for women, as they dream of other things. The things that have not changed in the poem and in the song are peoples perception of love, their feelings. What is changed are the adjectives with the help of which people compare their feelings and the situation they are in. Romance has changes a lot, the whole approach to the perception, the meaning, the way of life and future is seen the other way. In todays busy world people want to have everything at a time a job, a loved person, money, career, children, houseà ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã ¦And in the period of Renaissance people had other values, where dominated the family, children and home. The society today dictates the trends, the values, the important things, the must haves and other modern innovations. As a fact, online communication has a huge infl uence of what is happening around the world, on relationships between people, on their behavior, on their plans and life. Some people do not find it necessary to go out of the home because they have internet connection and social media helps them live their life online, while the real offline life passes very quickly. In the poem The Passionate Shepherd to His Love, the peace and isolation are the key words that describe the life of a shepherd who is waiting for his love. But today it is almost impossible to live isolated in romance and in harmony with the nature as described in a poem, as the song describes the relationship that did not last because of the mistake a man made and he is alone. It is obvious, that today people make the things more complicated because of the rules the society has made itself. All in all, there is so big difference between the life in the Renaissance period and today that it is almost impossible to imagine what life would be like. Many people would not like to give up everything they have and change it for what the Renaissance period could give them. Probably, people who lived in Renaissance period would not understand the meaning of the current popular song, as the things have changed so much in these centuries that it is difficult to believe it. Both the song Love The Way You Lie and the poem The Passionate Shepherd to His Love reflect love, and till people have the ability to express their feelings, the life is worth living.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
Individiual Understanding :: essays research papers
Individual Understanding I agree with functionalists, specifically the strong Artificial Intelligence (AI) camp, concerning the concept of understanding. While John Searle poses a strong non-functionalist case in his AChinese Room@ argument, I find that his definition of Ato understand@ falls short and hampers his point. I criticize his defense that understanding rests on a standardized knowledge of meaning, but not before outlining the general background of the issue. Functionalists define thought and mental states in terms of input and output. They claim that what we see, hear, smell, taste, and touch (input) creates a mental state or belief, and that particular mental state in turn creates our reaction (output). If I see it=s raining outside, I believe that if I go outside I will get wet, and therefore I take an umbrella with me. The functionalists define a mental state strictly through its cause and effect relationships, through its function. This thinking leads to the conclusion that the human brain is little more than a big, complex computer. All we humans do is take input, process it, and accordingly create output, just like a computer. In fact, functionalists who support strong AI go so far as to say that an appropriately programmed computer actually has all the same mental states and capabilities as a human. In AMinds, Brains, and Programs,@ John Searle outlines this argument: AIt is a characteristic of human beings= story understanding capacity that they can answer questions about [a] story even though the information they give was never explicitly stated in the story. . . . [Strong AI claims that m]achines can similarly answer questions about [stories] in this fashion. . . . Partisans of strong AI claim that in this question and answer sequence the machine is not only simulating a human ability but also (1) that the machine can literally be said to understand the story . . . and (2) that what the machine and its program do explains the human ability to understand the story and answer questions about it@ (354). While strong AI claims that a machine can understand just as a human understands, Searle himself disagrees. He claims that a strictly input-output system, such as a computer is, cannot understand anything, nor does it explain humans= ability to understand. In criticizing strong AI, Searle creates his famous AChinese Room@ argument: suppose that Searle was locked in a room with a large batch of Chinese writing.
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Southern Arizona: Lives that Shaped the Frontier Experience :: Essays Papers
"Ordinary" Women in Early Twentieth Century Southern Arizona: Lives that Shaped the Frontier Experience Some historians have argued that womenââ¬â¢s roles in early 20th century Arizona centered exclusively around the domestic sphere and typified values of femininity such as passivity, motherhood, and loyalty to marriage. Their journeys to the West are likewise portrayed as involuntary and life on the frontier a hated struggle. For example, Christiane Fischer states, ââ¬Å"Frontier conditions tended to reinforce women in their traditional roles and did not open up any new possibilities for themâ⬠(Fischer, 46). Although this may have been true for some, womenââ¬â¢s overall experiences and contributions to Arizonaââ¬â¢s history were much more complex. Although historically ââ¬Å"importantâ⬠figures are often over-represented in the stories we tell about our past, it is essential to remember that social change cannot occur without the involvement of thousands of ordinary folks. According to E.D. Branch, ââ¬Å"If there is a moral to the history of the westwa rd movement, it is this: the transcendent importance of small things and of unimportant peopleâ⬠(Branch in Poling-Kempes, xii). This is especially relevant to womenââ¬â¢s history in that womenââ¬â¢s experiences are often ignored in dominant discourse and their achievements are relegated to the invisible sphere of domesticity. This essay will explore the ways in which ââ¬Å"ordinaryâ⬠women influenced the development of the Arizona frontier and to what extent the conditions of this lifestyle affected their roles and opportunities. At the turn of the century, women in the West enjoyed greater freedom than their sisters in other parts of the country. Various social and economic necessities both allowed and forced women into situations that were traditionally reserved for men. Lesley Poling-Kempes states, ââ¬Å"Liberation may have been a side effect, rather than a motivating force or premeditated goal, for women in the new society of the American Westâ⬠(Poling-Kempes, 49). Women in this region generally had a better economic status, more job opportunities, and higher legal status than women in other regions (Rothschild and Hronek, xx). Historians have presented several hypotheses to explain this geographical distinction. One such theory is that the biased sex ratio (many more men were present than women) required men to be tolerant of women leading unconventional lifestyles. Another possibility is that, overall, the frontier embraced a more democratic way of life than settled areas, which in turn affected womenââ¬â¢s rights (Rothschild and Hronek, xx).
Succubus Shadows Chapter 13
I woke up next to Seth, and for the space of heartbeat, I thought I truly was waking ââ¬â waking up from an awful, awful dream about the Oneroi and everything else that had happened since Seth and I had broken up. He lay asleep in bed with the sheets tangled around him, his light brown hair glinting reddish in the morning sun. He slept only in boxers, and his chest looked warm and smooth and perfect for cuddling against. His breathing was even, his posture still and relaxed. I drank it all in, all the little Seth details I'd been missing for months. I swore that I could even smell him. Did dreams have smells? This one did, I was certain. That soft woodsy-apple scent wrapped around me like an embrace. After a few moments, he began to stir and sleepily open his eyes. He squinted at the light and rolled onto his back, stifling a yawn. I wanted to roll right over to him and snuggle against his warmth, telling him all about the nightmares I'd been having. Then, I realized there was no way I could go to him. I couldn't move. Well, that wasn't exactly true. There was more to it than that. I just didn't have a body. I was an observer only, like the invisible camera I'd been with Roman and Jerome. This apparently was not a dream I was active in, and the realization of that drove home the terrible truth: this was still an Oneroi dream. I hadn't imagined them. I hadn't imagined Seth and me breaking up. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. It was such a familiar, nostalgic sight. Getting up was always hard for him, largely because of the bizarre writing hours he kept. He glanced over at the clock, which was near the direction from which I was ââ¬Å"watching.â⬠His eyes passed right over where I would have been. Yes. I was just a ghost in this. But what was ââ¬Å"thisâ⬠exactly? Truth or lie? The time on the clock ââ¬â nine in the morning ââ¬â must have been motivation enough for him to drag himself out of bed. Still in boxers, he stumbled into the bathroom, miraculously not walking into anything in his sleepy state. While brushing his teeth, he noticed a note on the counter. I immediately recognized the writing because I saw it all the time at the bookstore. Went in early today to get a few things done and should be done by six. Bring Brandy by, if you can, to try on those shoes. Love, Maddie Seeing Maddie's name jolted me out of the Seth Fantasyland I'd been living in as he went through his morning routine. Expanding my vision now, I saw changes to his bathroom ââ¬â things that hadn't been there when we'd dated. Another toothbrush, for one thing. Makeup in the corner. A pink robe on the bathroom hook. On the books, Maddie was still sharing a place with Doug, but we all knew what the reality was. That pain that hadn't really left since my last dream grew tighter within my chest. She was all over this place. She had left her mark everywhere, everywhere in this space he and I had once shared together. I had been replaced. Seth went through the rest of his routine, including a remarkably fast shower. He was notorious for staying in there forever while plotting some story line. I tried hard not to focus on the sight of him naked and wet and instead pondered where he might be going today. If it was just to write at the bookstore, he wouldn't have been moving so briskly. He easily found clean boxers and jeans, but the hardest part of his day came next: what T-shirt to wear? When we'd been together, I'd loved watching this. I'd lie in bed ââ¬â after all, I had no urgency to ever get ready ââ¬â laughing while he deliberated and deliberated over his massive T-shirt collection. Each had its own hanger, displaying some bit of retro or pop culture novelty. Vanilla Ice. ALF. Mr. T cereal. He flipped through them all, studying each one carefully as his hand touched each sleeve. Then, his fingers suddenly brushed against a sleeve longer than the others. His closet wasn't all T-shirts. There were a few sweaters and pullovers crammed into the sides. There was also a flannel shirt; it was what he'd stopped and noticed. Pushing the other shirts aside, he took the flannel off of its hanger and held it up, his motions almost reverent. Even without physical form, I had the sensation of my heart going still. I knew this shirt. It was one he'd given me to wear a long time ago, the night I'd passed out at his place from too much alcohol. I'd met his family the next day, looking ridiculous with the flannel over my strappy party dress. Even while dating, I'd totally forgotten all about that shirt. He held it there between his hands, and the look on his faceâ⬠¦there was so much there, I didn't even know where to start. Seth was so good at keeping his expression neutral and could be extremely short-spoken when he chose. But here, alone, he was unguarded. There was sorrow on his face. Sorrow and regret. And when he held the shirt up and rested his head on it, I saw longing as well. The whole mood was rounded out with a sort of helpless resignation. He inhaled deeply and then hung the shirt back up. As he did, I caught the faintest whiff of tuberose blossoms ââ¬â the leftover scent of my Michael Kors perfume. Seth had never worn or washed it again, I realized with a start. He'd just kept it like some sort of treasured artifact. After that, he simply grabbed the first T-shirt his hand came across, without even looking. It was an old favorite of his, showing the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes. Seth's mood had shifted considerably, down to something a little more solemn and thoughtful than when he'd gotten out of the shower. My observations didn't go into his head, though. I could only judge by outside signs. His reason for getting up turned out to be a trip to his brother's house. Like always, the elder Mortensen's home was chaotic, with small adorable blond girls running around, many of them shrieking when they saw their favorite uncle. He'd barely stepped inside when Andrea, his sister-in-law, came out to greet him. She wore a corduroy jacket with her jeans and T-shirt, her blond hair slicked back into a neat ponytail. She gave Seth a startled look. ââ¬Å"You didn't bring your laptop?â⬠Andrea was as cheerful as always but appeared tired. He gestured over to where his twin nieces, McKenna and Morgan, were playing tug of war with a string of Christmas lights. It was odd because Christmas was over a month away and also because the lights were plugged in, which seemed like some sort of electrical risk to me. Apparently Seth felt the same way because he hastily intercepted them and removed the string of lights altogether, amid much protest. ââ¬Å"I don't think I'll get much work done with these guys,â⬠he said dryly. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠she admitted. ââ¬Å"I can see that.â⬠She glanced at her watch. ââ¬Å"Okay, gotta go. I don't know how long this'll take.â⬠ââ¬Å"No problem,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Do what you need to.â⬠She scurried out the door. I wanted to ask where she was off to but had no means. Again, I was reminded how out of the loop I was from the Mortensen world now. Once I would have known every detail. Kendall, a precocious nine-year-old, solemnly walked up to Seth. ââ¬Å"Uncle Seth,â⬠she said, ââ¬Å"will you play Loan with me?â⬠Seth arched an eyebrow. ââ¬Å"Loan? What's that?â⬠ââ¬Å"It's where I'm the mortgage broker, and you come to get a loan for a house but don't have the money for a down payment.â⬠She paused. ââ¬Å"We'll have to make a pretend income fax for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Tax,â⬠he corrected. ââ¬Å"And how about we go to the bookstore instead?â⬠She frowned. ââ¬Å"I want to play Loan.â⬠ââ¬Å"They have real estate books there,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"I don't think we can play Loan without sufficient background.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠she conceded. ââ¬Å"We can go.â⬠Brandy strolled into the living room just then with her four-year-old sister in her arms. Kayla looked like she'd woken up from a nap and sleepily had her head against Brandy's shoulder. I loved all the girls, but something about Kayla always affected me more strongly. ââ¬Å"Go where?â⬠asked Brandy, shifting Kayla's weight. Although she held her sister tenderly, Brandy had a dark cloud around her. ââ¬Å"To Emerald City.â⬠Brandy sighed. ââ¬Å"Don't you spend enough time there?â⬠ââ¬Å"Maddie got a few pairs of shoes for the dress and needs you to try them on.â⬠Brandy gave him a look that exquisitely expressed all of her feelings on that topic. ââ¬Å"Don't start,â⬠he warned, in as chastising a tone as I'd ever heard him use. Welcome to adolescence, Seth. ââ¬Å"Is Georgina working?â⬠she asked. Kendall looked up from where she'd been starting to color. In orange crayon, a blank piece of paper read ââ¬Å"IRS.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, can we see Georgina?â⬠Kendall piped in. Seth looked pained. ââ¬Å"I don't know if she's there or not.â⬠I didn't know either. I didn't know if this was a true or false dream. It felt true so far, but I didn't trust the Oneroi. Being an observer, I had to think I wouldn't be there. Certainly I wouldn't if this were true. I wondered what would happen at the store when I suddenly stopped showing up. ââ¬Å"I can just stay here while you're gone,â⬠Brandy said. ââ¬Å"Mom doesn't mind if I'm alone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then you can't try on the shoes. Which defeats the whole purpose.â⬠After a carefully worded ââ¬Å"discussion,â⬠in which Brandy suggested he just bring the shoes to her, she finally conceded. With the whole gang along, they had to take the Mortensen van, which Seth didn't seem overly thrilled about. But there was no other way to transport five girls, one of whom needed a car seat. The troop arrived at Emerald City. Seth left the four younger ones in the kids' section, which was a wonderland of picture books, puzzles, and stuffed animals. Janice was working that area today and told him she'd keep an eye on the girls. Seth also put Kendall in charge of her sisters, with the bribe that he'd buy her some finance books. That left him and Brandy to find Maddie, who was holed up in an office. Her face lit up when she saw them, and she practically flew from her seat to give him a quick kiss. Brandy scowled, and a troubled feeling burned within me. The love on Maddie's face was so obvious, so strongâ⬠¦anyone could see it. She made no attempts to hide it, even at work. I hated their relationship, but how could I resent her feelings? How could I resent her loving the man who meant the world to me? ââ¬Å"How's work?â⬠he asked her, smiling fondly. Was that his way of showing love too? How had he looked around me? For some reason, I was certain he'd been differentâ⬠¦hadn't he? I couldn't remember. Maddie gestured to the desk she shared with Doug. ââ¬Å"A little crazy. Yet strangely boring. I'm stuck on paperwork all day. Performance reviews.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hey, I'm stuck on paperwork every day.â⬠She rolled her eyes. ââ¬Å"Bad joke. And not the same at all.â⬠ââ¬Å"Try putting some sex and violence into the reviews, and they might go faster.â⬠I was too disturbed by their banter to pay much attention to the fact that Maddie was doing my job. Brandy looked equally pained by the conversation. As Maddie and Seth spoke, I studied him further, trying to read his feelings. Yes, there was affectionâ⬠¦yet, it reminded me a little of the warm indulgence he showed his nieces. At last, Maddie produced a shopping bag full of shoes. Brandy's dress was hanging in the office, and Maddie ordered Seth to leave while his niece changed. Just before he was shooed out, Maddie remarked to Brandy, ââ¬Å"I'm glad this color looks good on you. I decided to do everything purple because of how great it looked on Georgina. I found some awesome flowers that go with it all too.â⬠Oh, fucking fantastic. I had influenced the color scheme for their wedding. Seth left, and I went with him. He wandered through the store, browsing through books ââ¬â an activity he never tired of. Several employees said hello to him as they passed by. Including me. Seeing as the Oneroi had put me in dreams a couple times now, I shouldn't have been surprised. Except, whenever I was a character in the theatre of these dreams, I'd always had awareness of it. I'd watched me and felt me. Now, I saw myself approach Seth exactly the same way I'd seen Maddie and Brandy approach him. I was still objective. No inner connection. Again, just like watching a movie. I didn't entirely understand it, but nothing the Oneroi did should really shock me anymore. ââ¬Å"Hey,â⬠I (she?) said, shelving a couple books. They were copies of The Scarlet Letter, and I'd set them in new releases. ââ¬Å"Hey,â⬠said Seth, a weird mix of shyness and familiarity in his manner. ââ¬Å"How's it going?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not bad,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Quiet day. Mostly just putting away books.â⬠ââ¬Å"You've got Maddie doing reviews.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, well, I thought she could handle it. Besides, this dress is new. It'd be a shame to keep it hidden.â⬠My watching self had already noticed the dress because that was second nature to me. It was a great dress but not necessarily one to wear to work. It was a silk sheath that stopped high on the thigh, with straps tying around the neck and a scoop neckline that showed a considerable amount of cleavage. There was no bra anywhere. I looked like I should have been clubbing, not shelving. Seeing as this whole vision was no memory of mine, the dress only furthered the fact that this was one of the lies. I wasn't afraid to tart it up, but even I had boundaries at work. Seth seemed surprised at the dress but not unappreciative. ââ¬Å"You should be hand-selling,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Go outside with a book, and I bet you could push it on anyone.â⬠ââ¬Å"This dress might not work on everyone,â⬠I pointed out. He gave me one of those little smiles of his, and I wondered if the other Georgina melted like I did. ââ¬Å"The dress is only half of it. You're charming enough to talk anyone into anything.â⬠I gave him a smile in return, one that was both cheery and sly. ââ¬Å"Anything?â⬠The innuendo didn't progress because Kayla suddenly pranced over and wrapped her arms around Seth's legs. He scooped her up and glanced around. ââ¬Å"What happened to Kendall? No finance books for bad babysitters.â⬠My alter ego peered over toward the magazines. ââ¬Å"Is that her?â⬠I sounded uncertain, which was odd because when Seth turned to see, it was perfectly obvious it was Kendall. She was reading Forbes. Seth sighed and called her over. She brightened when she saw me. ââ¬Å"Hi, Georgina! You're so pretty today.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠I said, beaming. ââ¬Å"You were supposed to be in charge,â⬠said Seth. ââ¬Å"Go get the twins. Hopefully they haven't wandered out into traffic.â⬠Kendall shook her head. ââ¬Å"They're playing with puzzles.â⬠But she raced off nonetheless. Kayla was staring around the store in that distracted way children her age had, watching the people and sights. Seth gave her a slight nudge. ââ¬Å"What about you? Aren't you going to say hi to Georgina?â⬠Kayla glanced in the direction he indicated, looked me over, and then continued her survey of the store. It wasn't so much she shunned me or was repulsed by me; it was more like she was disinterested. I didn't stand out to her more than any other patron or even one of the shelves. ââ¬Å"One of her moods,â⬠said Seth apologetically. Brandy surfaced, still annoyed by the shoes, but immensely happy to see me. The rest of the girls were rustled up, and after a bit more chatting, Seth and the nieces left me to my bad shelving. He'd continued holding Kayla in his arms, and she suddenly turned to him in all seriousness. ââ¬Å"When are you going to find Georgina?â⬠she asked. Her voice was small and sweet. She rarely spoke, so I always loved the sound of it when she did. He frowned, trying to open the van door with one hand. Brandy helped him. ââ¬Å"We just saw Georgina,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Inside.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, we didn't,â⬠said Kayla. ââ¬Å"We did. You snubbed her,â⬠he teased. ââ¬Å"I told you to say hello.â⬠ââ¬Å"That wasn't Georgina. You have to find her.â⬠ââ¬Å"What have you been smoking?â⬠Brandy asked, taking over to buckle Kayla into her booster. ââ¬Å"That was Georgina.â⬠Seth sighed. ââ¬Å"Be careful with your choice of expressions.â⬠The topic dropped after that, but as they drove back to Terry and Andrea's, a chill ran through me. Kayla knew. Kayla knew I was gone. This must be a true dream after all. We'd learned recently that she had the faintest stirring of psychic powers and the ability to perceive some things on the supernatural plane. She had a vague sense of my aura, and she'd realized that it wasn't me in the store. That's why she'd been so disinterested. It was also why I hadn't been inside that Georgina. It wasn't Georgina. Then who was it? With a sinking feeling, I immediately answered my own question. Who else would have an interest in looking like me and flirting with Seth? Simone. Simone was impersonating me in my absence, I was certain of it. Son of a bitch. I couldn't feel her aura in this dream form, and no mortal could, period. Except for Kayla. Fuck. This was not what I needed. The rest of Seth's day was uneventful, though he thankfully never ran into ââ¬Å"meâ⬠again. Andrea returned, and it was then I learned she'd been at a doctor's appointment. She thanked Seth for his help, though it took a long time for him to leave, due to all the younger girls' good-byes. Seth finally returned to his condo and spent the day writing, which was boring for me to watch. I didn't get why the Oneroi hadn't pulled me out yet. Sure, it had been disheartening to see that no mortal knew I was gone, but this dream hadn't had the devastating effects of the others. Evening fell, and Maddie returned home. Seth, engrossed in his work, stayed at his desk until she found him and spun his chair around. She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her legs around him in a way very similar to what I used to do. He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her as well and returning her hello kiss. ââ¬Å"How was your paperwork?â⬠he asked. Maddie ran her fingers along the side of his face, that love radiating off of her. ââ¬Å"Nonstop. Georgina left it all on me today. I don't know what was up with that.â⬠ââ¬Å"She said she thought you could handle it.â⬠Maddie pulled a face. ââ¬Å"More like she wanted to take the day off and prance around. Did you see that dress she was wearing? I mean, yeah, she can pull off anything she wants to wear, but that wasn't really work appropriate.â⬠He laughed and pulled her closer. ââ¬Å"I think Georgina thinks her wit and charm can let her get away with anything she wants.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, well, she's not as funny as she always thinks she is,â⬠grumbled Maddie. ââ¬Å"And all she got away with today was looking like she was trying to pick up some guy at the store.â⬠ââ¬Å"Wouldn't be the first time,â⬠said Seth with a shrug. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠ââ¬Å"You didn't know? She sleeps with Warren all the time. Usually in his office.â⬠I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only were the two of them mocking me, Seth had also told Maddie about my on-again off-again affair with the store's owner Warren. Doug had always had his suspicions, but other than Seth, no one else knew. I had never expected Seth to betray that secret. ââ¬Å"I had no idea,â⬠said Maddie. ââ¬Å"And yetâ⬠¦I don't know. Maybe I did. I mean, everything she wears is kind of slutty.â⬠ââ¬Å"She sleeps around a lot. She'll pretty much go home with anyone.â⬠He paused. ââ¬Å"She even tried it with me once.â⬠ââ¬Å"Really?â⬠Maddie's eyes went wide. ââ¬Å"What'd you do?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nothing. I have no interest in that. I couldn't handle being with someone so easy. She'd probably sleep with all my friends while we were dating.â⬠He cupped Maddie's face in his hands. ââ¬Å"Not that it matters. I have no reason to even go looking, not when I have the best thing right here.â⬠He drew her to him, and they kissed again. It wasn't the earlier hello kiss either. It was deep and ardent, both of them eagerly trying to get as much of the other as they could. His hands gripped hold of the bottom of her tank top and jerked it over her head, revealing a black satin bra I was pretty sure I'd helped her pick out. Never breaking the kiss, his hands then went around her waist as he half-carried, half-stumbled out of the office and into the bedroom. They fell onto the covers, hands moving all over each other's bodies and kisses starting to spread beyond lips. No, I thought, unsure if the Oneroi could hear me or not. No. I don't want to see this. Take me back. Take me back to the box. Send me to another dream. But if they were there, they weren't listening. I had no eyes to close. I couldn't look away. There was no way to unsee what I was seeing. I'd experienced a lot of heart-wrenching things in my relationship with Seth, things that had hurt me so badly that I swore I wanted to die. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for seeing him have sex with another woman. And it wasn't just watching the act itself, the way their naked bodies intertwined with one another and the cries of pleasure elicited in the height of orgasm. It was the look on his face as he did it. There it was. The love I'd been searching for earlier. I'd thought before he only regarded her with a strong affection, similar to the fond love he had for his nieces. No. This was passion I saw on his face, the kind of love that burned so deeply, it connected two people's souls. He was looking at her the way he'd once looked at me. I had never thought it was possible. Somewhere, somehow, I'd been convinced that he loved her in a different way from me. Maybe their love was strong, but I'd felt certain it could never match what he felt for me. Ours was different. Yet, seeing them now, I saw that wasn't true. And when, at the end, he told her she was his world ââ¬â just as he'd once told me ââ¬â I knew that I really was nothing special. The love he had for me was gone. And in the terrible, excruciating pain of that moment, I no longer wanted to die. There was no point because I was certain just then that I had died ââ¬â because surely, surely, Hell couldn't be worse than this.
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